Honorary Weasley-hood
by DragonCastle
Summary: The world must have finally spun off on it's axis. There's no other reason for Draco to find himself become the unwilling recipient of honorary Weasley-hood.


**A/N: **Dramione. But not really. 

* * *

><p>At the age of 25 and having survived a bloody war, saddled to a psychopathic megalomaniac no less, Draco Malfoy believed he has seen it all.<p>

Apparently not.

There is something unnerving with seeing two identical faces, both with ginger hair – _Weasely hair,_ Draco thinks – grinning at him in front of his office door. He mentally calculated how much time will it take him to reach his fireplace and quickly floo out of the scene if it proves to be too hostile for his liking. Nothing good could ever come out of him where grinning Weasels are concerned. Nothing.

Draco cleared his throat and composed his face into a cool expression. No good for his attackers to think he was being rattled by their presence. "May I help you?" He enquired stoically. Ha, so there.

Twin 1, as Draco liked to call them in his mind, grinned even wider than Draco assumed possible, while Twin 2 pushes a clumsily wrapped package to him. When he didn't accept it, rather he eyed the package, as he would something equally disgusting and dangerous shoved to his chest, suspiciously, Twin 1 said: "It's a care package." When this warranted no reply, Twin 2 felt the need to add: "From Mum."

Now Draco Malfoy is a fairly intelligent person. Graduating second to Hermione Granger, who is so bloody perfect it's bloody impossible to bloody surpass her – _bloody bint_, he prided himself for catching on things fairly quickly and his witty replies but to this strange predicament, he could only gape at them like they were Voldemort in a tutu asking him to sample his freshly baked pies.

"Well, are we going to stand here all day or are you going to take it?" Twin 2 asked with a good-natured grin that only confused Draco further. And really, no one can blame the poor boy. Malfoys and Weasleys do not grin at each other. Malfoys and Weasleys do not bring each other care packages. Malfoys and Weasleys sneer and insult and ridicule each other. That's what Malfoys and Weasleys do. This – this is unnatural.

Twin 1 – Fred, by the way – finally flipped at Draco's lack of response. "Merlin! Fine then, Malfoy, if you're not going to take it we're leaving it here." He said and levitated the offending package to Draco's desk. "Ta, then!" Draco stared at their retreating backs, still unsure of what happened. With a sigh, he shut his office door and turned his attention to the lumpy object sitting on his desk.

He poked it experimentally with his wand and when it didn't explode on contact, he muttered a charm and the bindings holding it fell apart to reveal an assortment of treats. Pumpkin pie, treacle tarts, Yorkshire pudding, and a few boxes of candy. For a moment, Draco pondered whether it was cursed. A minute after, the package was sent to Draco's blazing fireplace.

As the week progressed, things only got weirder for Draco. By Friday, he had received three care packages from Molly Weasley - delivered by the Wonder Twins, Dragon Boy, and none other than Ronald Bilius Weasel himself respectively – a standing invitation for Sunday brunch at the Burrow, and an invitation to a 'boys' night-out' with the Weasleys and Potter from none other than Golden Boy Potter himself. All who delivered care packages or invitations to Draco came with toothy grins that almost sent Draco running to the opposite direction.

What in Merlin's name is going on with this world? He went along with them Friday night, curious about the new development, but he found nothing amiss other than the fact that everyone was completely nice to him. It gave him the shivers.

He managed to avoid Sunday brunch this coming Sunday by saying he was accompanying his parents in their vacation house in France that day. Not a lie, technically, he was sure he could convince them to go off and relax in France on a nice Sunday morning. He wasn't looking forward to thinking up excuses to avoid the next Weasley Sunday brunch, however.

Why was he trying his best to avoid these seemingly good-natured events, you ask? Because you just don't wake up one day and decide to be chummy with your old enemy. Something is definitely amiss and Draco doesn't want to be caught in it. Thus our unlikely hero decides on the most acceptable course of action – running. Of course, this is not cowardice but merely an act of self-preservation.

Monday afternoon, after a tiring day of dodging Potter in the Ministry hallways and a quick escape from his office when Bill Weasley dropped by with a care package, Draco Malfoy found himself giving himself a congratulatory pat on the back for an all-in-all job well done. Success.

Almost.

"There you are, Malfoy!" A warm hand clapped him on the shoulder. Upon further inspection, he found the male two-thirds of the Golden Trio grinning at him.

"Potter." Draco said calmly, masking his shock. "Weasley."

"I got your report on the Knockturn Alley raid last week." Harry said as-a-matter-of-factly.

"And, by the way, this is from Mum. You missed Bill when he went here." Ron interjected, thrusting yet another lumpy package in Draco's arms.

"Um, thanks, Weasley." Draco replied.

"Also, Malfoy, I've also received the paperwork on the new Azkaban guards and the Auror delegation for the upcoming France vs. England Quidditch match. You're pretty much ahead on your work, Malfoy. Good job."

Draco smirked, "I try my best, Potter."

"Therefore," Harry continued, "as you are obviously on top of everything as of the moment, it can't hurt for you to go home early today, can it?" He said with a grin.

Draco only looked at Harry like he has finally lost his marbles.

"Come on! Everybody's waiting!"

Draco could do nothing but let himself be dragged to the floo.

They tumbled out a very crowded living room full of knitted doilies and ginger haired people. It seems like on a Monday afternoon, all Weasleys forsook their jobs and congregated in the Weasley living room. And it also seems that Draco Malfoy was invited to the party. And there's Granger too, seated on the couch chatting with Ginny Weasley, the latter still in her Harpies uniform.

"Oh, good, everybody's here!" Molly Weasley exclaimed, giving Draco a hug that felt significantly less awkward than Voldemort's. "Dinner is almost ready. Draco, dear, I'm not really sure what your favorite dish was so I didn't cook anything special for you. So if you'd just tell me what your favorite food is, I'll have it ready for you next time you eat here." Molly beamed.

"Mum cooks something for each of us every time we have a gathering. Usually it's peach-mango pies or roast turkey for me." Ron whispered.

Draco stared at Ron and the Weasley matriarch dumbfounded. When it was apparent that they were waiting for his answer to Molly's question, he cleared his throat and mumbled, "tomato soup" under his breath.

"Alright then, I'll have tomato soup ready next Sunday brunch. You are coming, aren't you, dear?" Molly asked him expectantly.

What else could Draco say? The way the woman asked him, it would be flat-out rude to decline. So after committing himself to an entire Sunday morning with the Weasley clan, Draco was finally dragged by Harry to the couch where Hermione Granger was currently sitting. Hermione glanced at him with a raised brow as if asking him what in Merlin's name is he doing there to which Draco responded with a shrug.

"And I don't think I need to ask what you're doing here, Granger, what with you and Potter being honorary Weasleys after all."

"Well apparently, Malfoy, you've become an honorary Weasley as well without you knowing it." Hermione replied with a smirk.

Draco leaned a bit closer to Hermione and whispered, "honestly, Granger, what is going on around here? One morning I wake up and these wankers decide they don't hate me any longer? A man needs some normality, if you please!"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Oh, Malfoy. You've known for the longest time that we really don't hate you, and if you ask me, you don't really hate us as well. I know it's hard to wrap your puny mind on the concept, but people do tend to get over schoolyard rivalries when they grow up. It's true we still think you're scum, but you're not evil." She said as she patted his knee tenderly.

"Gee, Granger. That warms my heart."

Hermione scoffed. "As if you have a heart to warm, Malfoy."

"You wound me."

Hermione was about to retaliate when she noticed Harry and the Weasleys in the living room looking at the pair of them. "What?" Hermione asked self-consciously.

A long silence that was filled with everyone except Draco and Hermione exchanging knowing smiles and amused glances perpetuated the living room. The pair could only look at them confused. It was Fred Weasley who spoke up first, unable to contain it any longer. "Oh, Circe, I can't take it anymore! We know it already, Hermione! And we don't care! We love you all the same!"

As if on cue, everyone came closer and took turns giving Hermione hugs and patting Draco at the back or shaking his hand. After Percy shook hands with Draco, the blonde man couldn't take it anymore and blurted out, "what in the name of Merlin's hairy bollocks is going on here?"

"Oh, Malfoy, you sly dog." George said with a grin. "You can drop the act. We know what's going on. We know and we approve, and because we love Hermione so much, we've decided to extend our love to you."

"And also because in the week we've spent conversing with you whenever one of us drops by your office and on our boys' night-out, we deemed you're a pretty okay guy." Fred interjected.

"Thus, you Draco Malfoy, due to your relationship to our best friend Hermione Granger, and also due to growing up into a not-so-annoying jerk, we grant you honorary Weasley-hood." Ron proclaimed.

And that was when everything cleared up for Draco Malfoy. He was about to object that no, he and Granger are most definitely not going out, and no he doesn't want honorary Weasley-hood when Hermione herself interrupted.

"For goodness' sake! So this is what it's all about? Let me get this straight once and for all, you nincompoops: Malfoy and I are not going out."

"Ha!" Ron shouted. "Nice try, Hermione! But really, we don't care. The two of you can stop being all sneaky about it now."

"Weasley," Malfoy interjected rolling his eyes when all Weasleys turned to look at him, "oh fine, _Ronald_, listen to me. Granger and I are not going out. Not now. Not ever. So you can revoke your honorary Weasley-hood from me and let's all get back to our lives, shall we?"

"There." Hermione said triumphantly. "He said it."

The Weasley siblings along with Harry only looked at each other in bewilderment.

"And now," Hermione continued, "you will tell us where exactly you got the idea that Malfoy and I are going out."

"Well," Harry began sheepishly, "we just sort of assumed you know."

"You did say you were going out with someone recently and didn't want to let us know." Ginny said. "So we assumed that this is someone you think we wouldn't like or wouldn't think as suitable for you."

"And you immediately thought of me as this unsuitable bloke?" Draco said, somewhat hurt. "Not that I'm aiming to please any of you for Granger's sake, of course." He amended quickly.

"Well, we thought of Slytherins or ex-Death Eaters in general, but you were the worst of the lot so we eventually settled on you being the best bet." Harry said with a wave of his hand.

"And the lot of us working in the Ministry," Ron said gesturing to Harry and Percy, "see you all the time with Malfoy, Hermione. Talking in the hallways, sometimes you even eat lunch together!"

"Plus, Hermione, we all know you have a thing for blondes." Ginny said wagging her eyebrows. "Ehem – Lockheart."

Hermione flushed. "First of all, the 'mystery' bloke I was dating, was not a Slytherin nor an ex-Death Eater. He was a muggle. Plain and simple. I didn't tell you guys because it's not serious at all. Heck, we stopped seeing each other last week and I didn't even bat an eye."

And then Draco snorted, "and what you saw in the Ministry, Weasley, was the Assistant Head of the Department of Mysteries trying to convince me to apply for a switch in department for next year."

"What?" Harry exclaimed. "Hermione! You know he's my best Auror! How can you pirate him?"

It was Hermione's turn to look embarrassed. "Oh, Harry, I'm sorry but you know our line of work at the Department of Mysteries is very delicate. We lack people who are actually able to the job, and the Auror Department has a surplus of that."

"Still doesn't justify what you're doing." Harry replied, still a bit sore on the subject.

"So is that it? You saw me and Granger talking cordially a few times and you jump to conclusions. And being the good friends you are, you decide to take the first step and extend the hand of friendship to me. Did I leave anything out?"

The boys only nodded while Ginny grinned a bit as if to say 'oops'.

Draco shook his head and stood up to go to the floo. "Well, I guess I'm no longer welcome, now that you found out Granger and I aren't really going out. I'll be leaving. Ta, Potter, Weasleys, Granger."

All of them only looked at him like he lost his mind.

"What the hell are you talking about, Malfoy? Who said you're no longer welcome just because we were wrong and you and Hermione aren't really going out?" Ron asked him in a tone that was terribly patronizing as if he was speaking to a daft five-year-old.

Draco raised a brow, "well, I assumed that was automatic. You did include me for Granger's sake after all."

"Look Malfoy," Harry said as he put his hands on Draco's shoulders pushing him to the direction of the kitchen. "We're just saying that, despite you not going out with Hermione, we managed to get to know you a bit better the past week and you're not so much of a bad guy after all, heck I daresay you might even be fun to keep around."

"That warms me to the bottom of my heart, Potter. It really does." Draco drawled sarcastically. Though he would never admit it, lest threatened with death or castration, he rather enjoyed the warmth and honesty of this particular group of people. It wasn't something that was common in Slytherin and now that he knew their motives, he wasn't that bothered by their efforts anymore.

Harry grinned at him. "I'll save you a seat next to Hermione at the dinner table, Malfoy." He said and walked with Ron and Charlie to the kitchen to get started on dinner.

"Well, Malfoy, it looks like you're an honorary Weasley now as well. Congratulations."

"Thrilled." Draco replied monotonously.

"Come off it, Malfoy. We both know you're having fun."

Draco allowed himself to smirk. "A bit."

And as Fred and George watched Draco and Hermione walk towards the kitchen together, engaged in playful banter both can't help but wonder if their assumption was a truth waiting to be realized after all.


End file.
